Well if you happen to know me, or anything about me, you know I’m not an emotional train that wrecks itself at every given turn. I pride myself in taking ample time to recover from the loss of my ten year marriage and focusing on being the absolute happiest single mom I can. I have never lived holiday to holiday grasping on to any little bit of affection or attention from someone considered to be a “significant” other. Why are they my significant other? I’m significant enough.
This year brings me to realize not being in a relationship of any kind has not and does not affect me either way. I have friends that “mourn” their own loss of a relationship or feel sorry for themselves because they don’t have someone, or go overboard expressing how great it is to be single, simply to over compensate. I really am OK with my current position. I assume this is a healthy place. Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond happy for those in my life that are in happy and healthy relationships. I believe we all deserve that. I will not be envious of someone’s happiness. I celebrate it with them.
Now this brings me to the place of being the mother of daughters with and without a special someone. I am very blessed to have older daughters with very rare finds for boyfriends. They are mature, intelligent, responsible, loving men that treat my girls like the royalty I feel they are. Yes, they are spoiled and these guys continue to spoil them. They have been answers to my prayers. That’s all a parent wants is for their children to have better. They themselves are also pretty special humans and appreciate what they have been given. Now for my youngest…. lol she is only ten so there is no rush to fill her “significant” other space. None. She doesn’t have any care for it any more than I do, but I’m sure the time will come. What little girl doesn’t dream of a handsome prince flowering her with attention and gifts? There’s plenty of time.
While the time passes for now I will simply try to live accordingly as a single parent with no love interest and that it is OK. I want to show my children that being strong for and loving yourself is the only way you can truly have a healthy relationship. You matter enough to be happy first. This is how you keep another person happy with you. I teach them they are responsible for their feelings, not someone else. Only you allow someone else to hurt your feelings. Therefore, only you can know when you are over a hurt caused to you. Only you can decide you don’t hurt any more. Only you can move forward for real and not just for show or to go through the motions. Power is too important to give yours away.
Love yourself and each other! Happy Valentine’s Day!